Tuesday, December 19, 2006
joy
I have been feeling absurdly, unusually happy the last couple of days. I feel excited by the people around me who are making things, doing things, pursuing things. I want to write a million things, but my thoughts are not distinct yet. Rather, they are all swimming together and I don't know one from another. I feel like I've been running and it's the perfect kind of movement. Moving away from a stupid misery that is rooted in holding on, in dwelling and sinking. I think this city is a magical place because little secrets and treasures appear whenever I need them.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
dear nora
Last June all I could listen to was the collection of Dear Nora songs that a good friend gave me. I listened to them over and over and they became a kind of soundtrack of my early summer.
I fall in love with a musician or a musical group so intensely that I can listen to nothing else for a while. That is how I've been experiencing music lately--a focused kind of listening. And somehow, there is a transition from one group of songs to another, one focused listening to another focused listening. For example, recently I went from being able to listen to nothing but Viking Moses, and after that I transitioned to listening only to Joanna Newsom. I don't know where I am now. With listening.
Last night was the first time I listened to Dear Nora since June, I believe. I lay in my bed with the lights off, and planned on listening to a song or two before going to sleep. But the music was so wonderfully calming that I listened for a long time. I was immediately transported to early summer. I literally felt myself in those weeks of freedom, on the bus to Boston, hanging out in Allston, MA, walking to the reservoir near Boston College. I felt myself in my room in those free summer days when I did nothing but read Murakami and think about Japan and wander the New York streets sweating and longing for cooler days. My dad visited one June weekend and we had terrific fun, bike riding like there was no tomorrow. And throughout those weeks I listened to one set of songs that I loved.
Last night, the music not only felt familiar, it put me in a mental and physical state of my past. While I listened, I existed in June 2006. I love it that music has that kind of power. It’s the same with anything else that we unconsciously connect to a specific memory or moment. Like a smell connected to a certain experience or person, like an item of clothing connected to a certain event. And while this is so obvious, it kind of surprises and amazes me whenever it happens.
I listened to Dear Nora again this morning and it happened again--I was transported. This will seem strange, but I felt like I could taste summer. I wish I could explain this better. It is something I find extraordinary.
I fall in love with a musician or a musical group so intensely that I can listen to nothing else for a while. That is how I've been experiencing music lately--a focused kind of listening. And somehow, there is a transition from one group of songs to another, one focused listening to another focused listening. For example, recently I went from being able to listen to nothing but Viking Moses, and after that I transitioned to listening only to Joanna Newsom. I don't know where I am now. With listening.
Last night was the first time I listened to Dear Nora since June, I believe. I lay in my bed with the lights off, and planned on listening to a song or two before going to sleep. But the music was so wonderfully calming that I listened for a long time. I was immediately transported to early summer. I literally felt myself in those weeks of freedom, on the bus to Boston, hanging out in Allston, MA, walking to the reservoir near Boston College. I felt myself in my room in those free summer days when I did nothing but read Murakami and think about Japan and wander the New York streets sweating and longing for cooler days. My dad visited one June weekend and we had terrific fun, bike riding like there was no tomorrow. And throughout those weeks I listened to one set of songs that I loved.
Last night, the music not only felt familiar, it put me in a mental and physical state of my past. While I listened, I existed in June 2006. I love it that music has that kind of power. It’s the same with anything else that we unconsciously connect to a specific memory or moment. Like a smell connected to a certain experience or person, like an item of clothing connected to a certain event. And while this is so obvious, it kind of surprises and amazes me whenever it happens.
I listened to Dear Nora again this morning and it happened again--I was transported. This will seem strange, but I felt like I could taste summer. I wish I could explain this better. It is something I find extraordinary.
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